On Getting Out On the Weekends…

The internet is sad today. Trial outcomes, untimely celebrity deaths, a lot of ignorance…I had to get out of my apartment. Aside from a run yesterday, I stayed in all day and didn’t regret it. But I can’t handle too many weepy social media posts, so I needed some air.

I didn’t really find any air outside considering the heat advisory in New York City that’s in place until midnight tonight, but I did see some fun sights.

Like the woman walking around Queens Boulevard in her robe and slippers. She was completely coherent. Didn’t seem crazy aside from her attire. I would say she looked in her mirror before leaving her home and thought, “yes, this is acceptable,” but the odds of her having looked in the mirror at all are slim. If there’s one thing that’s for sure in New York City, it’s that you can express yourself freely. Things like this are so common that no one questions it.

My first stop was at Duane Reade where I saw one of the best employee-customer exchanges ever. Apparently batteries are kept behind the counter there, and an employee had to go get them for this guy. They talked a bit, he told her what kind of batteries he needed, then I heard this:

Customer: “What’s your name?”
Employee: “Theresa.”
Customer: “Thanks, Theresa. Loved the eye roll, by the way. Sorry for making you do your job!”

Theresa clearly was still not really doing her job, because even though this man said it loud and clear and all of us waiting in line looked at each other like someone just got called down to the Principal’s office in elementary school, she turned to everyone and cluelessly asked, “what did he say?” I wasn’t about to tell her. It was too awesome to repeat. Bottom line: Some jobs suck. Make yours better by not being miserable all the time. I’ve worked in retail, Theresa. It’s not fun unless you make it fun.

I then headed to Starbucks to get an iced coffee where not much happened except for a child getting too close to me the whole time I was in line. I was carrying about three big Duane Reade bags (because I bought economy packs of paper towels and toilet paper) and was trying to stay out of the way. Then while I was waiting for my drink she practically plowed through my bags. I let out a, “seriously?”

The highlight of the trip was the Wafels & Dinges truck, as per usual. I opted for the special “De S’mores Wafel,” which came with speculoos, marshmallows and chocolate fudge. It was everything I’d hoped for and more. The guy taking my order suggested a nice scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of the wafel, and normally I couldn’t resist that, but heat advisories are no joke and neither is soupy ice cream.

By the time I got back the internet had become a slightly better place. At least the political rants weren’t clogging my feed anymore. Twitter is a different story, but I’m only going to visit that place to see what shenanigans Amanda Bynes is up to for now.

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