I wish I was one of those people that could just get up and go without thinking things through first.
You know, YOLO is still pretty popular these days.
But I’m not that type of person. I’ve certainly taken chances in life, but not without thinking it through first.
This is why I’m currently restless. I don’t have a good plan for the next phase of life.
You know, you go through high school knowing that college comes next, and everything you’re doing is to get yourself ready for and into college. By the time I hit my senior year of high school, I was so over it. Graduation couldn’t come soon enough. The fact that I started looking for colleges during my sophomore year didn’t help. But I needed to get my future planned!
Then you go through college, all the while trying to figure out what your career goals are. You know that once college is over, your plan is to get a job. Again, by senior year of college, I was completely checked out. It’s probably a good thing I spent the second half of that year in New York City doing two simultaneous internships (talk about multitasking to get your mind off of things).
So then you get a job that allows you to do what you went to college for…and then what? How do you make yourself better from there? Do you take on second jobs to diversify yourself? How long do you stay with your job? How do you get the required skills and experience needed to move up in the world? When do I decide it’s time to settle with what’s in front of me?
WHAT IS THE NEXT GOAL.
For starters, my next goal is to get in the same city as the boyfriend. It will likely be a new city for both of us, which is pretty overwhelming. How do I figure this whole job thing out in a landscape I’m not familiar with? Is the job search going to be super terrible the second time around when it eventually comes about? What if I can’t find anything?
In high school and college, I had answers for my future questions for the most part. Some people get excited by uncertainty, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t internally freaking out everyday about this. It’s the kind of thing that keeps my mind going when I’m trying to go to sleep, and it’s the thing that creeps into my brain during a run that can completely derail it.
Maybe I just need a hobby. Who’s got a beer brewing kit?